Part I My Story
Someone just Knocked my Sand Castle over and then Peed on it!!!!

I wasn't sure where to expound on my feelings on the issues that are taking place right now regarding people with same sex attractions, their faith Exodus International's apology, the responses to that apology and where my story fits in the midst of it. Nonetheless, I wrote this blog with title of my personal journey with the little prince.  If you read the "the Little Prince by St Vincent D'Exupury, you realized that his journey consisted of the meeting various characters along the way with their own stories in the way which they dealt with the world they were given. I am overwhelmed by the many stories I know personally of precious people that share my faith and those who do not, that simply are dealing with the life they have everyday.  They often admit that sometimes their decisions were bad and other times they made good choices.  Either way it is the life they are living and should be allowed all the tools, nurture, medical, monetary, counseling, services of any type, legally and otherwise to enhance and better their lives as individuals and that of their spouses and family.
In 2009, I was privileged to have part of my autobiography placed in a book titled, "When I stepped out on Faith", By Ciaj Harris.   The book consisted of several stories of women who had made it through their hardships with their faith in God.
Before 2009, I was under the guise to believe, that once I was "healed" of MPD Multiple Personal disorder, I would no longer have sexual desires for women.  Well for a while, I seemed to be free, but constantly on my guard and in fear that I would have feelings and what if I  did?  Then after really giving much effort to looking for "Mr. Right" I realized I didn't really want to be with a man for the rest of my life.  Much more than that I realized that men probably sensed that in me, thus, were not attracted to me.  I kept thinking is there something wrong with me?  For 35 years I had struggled with the torment and agony of feeling attracted to women instead of men.  Occasionally, I thought maybe I like him or maybe God will heal me totally if i just marry someone.  Once, I became honest with myself, I realized that I didn't really like the guy, I wanted to be the guy, so it would be ok to like women.  I rationalized, the only way for me to be okay, was to become like a guy. ....to be continued...